Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Guided Meditation: Blessing Those Who Have Hurt Us

This meditation brings the transformative power of blessing to relationships that cause us pain.

You probably know the book All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum. 

Well I wasn’t quite as young as that, but I learned the value and power of blessing very early in life. I was a sensitive child and often upset and confused by the apparently random unkindness of other girls at school. I could never understand what I had done to offend someone who had been my friend yesterday and suddenly announced she didn’t want to play with me today. 

My mother taught me to send a blessing whenever I thought of one of these girls.  I tried it – and it worked. The unkindness dissolved away and very soon I had people to play with once more.  I learned then the incredible power of blessing to transform a situation from the inside out.  As an adult I have continued to practice this principle – and now teach it to my clients and students.  Blessing can be used in many different ways and in many different situations.  At the time of writing I am in the midst of a Blessing Series of guided meditations as part of my weekly Meditation Radio programme (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/meditationradio)  A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the power of Blessing Our Loved Ones 

This article is focused on the
Why and the How of Blessing Those Who Hurt Us.

I was interested to discover a few years ago that the English word ‘unkind’ actually means ‘to act in a way that is unlike our true nature.’

One meaning of the word ‘kind’ is species. We use it in this way when we ask “What kind of animal did you see?”

Extending this out further we can see that the English language recognises that being kind is true to the nature of human beings. Kindness is a human characteristic if you please.

So when we act in a way that is unkind – we are behaving in a way that is unlike our kind – we are behaving atypically. It is not what an observer would expect to see of our species.

Which explains why actions of kindness feel so good – and actions of unkindness feel so bad.

Unkindness given reflects an inner fracture between our spiritual nature and who we believe ourselves to be.  Unkindness received, damages our sense of self – and leaves us vulnerable to further hurt unless addressed quickly.

Kindness – both given and received – restores us to harmony with our true nature. It restores and strengthens our connection to Source. It brings us back to ourselves and restores our balance and our true place in the scheme of things.  

Which explains why doing an act of kindness is such a powerful ‘pick me up’ when we are feeling down or depressed.  And why extending blessing is such a powerful restorative in the face of injustice and injury.

A Course In Miracles would say that there are only two types of action

  • An expression of love
  • A cry for love

From this viewpoint everyone who is acting in a destructive or negative way is in fact asking for love in order to heal.  From my studies and experience as an adult I have this to say about blessing those who have caused pain or injury to us or someone we love
  1. It brings forth the hidden or potential good in any situation
  2. It helps dissolve the fear and pain that causes another person to act un-kindly
  3. It empowers the bless-er to rise above negative emotions
  4. It sets the one who blesses free to heal and move on.

When we are hurt by the actions of another it seems to me that we have three choices about our response

  1. To retaliate – to return hurt for hurt.
  2. To be neutral
  3. To bless – to return good
If you are the sort of person who is  reading this article you will not need much convincing that retaliation achieves nothing except the escalation of destruction. We don’t need to look far in our world to see the results of this being played out in tragic detail on our evening news week by week. There is no need to explore that further.  Neutrality is a step forward – quite a considerable step forward in many cases. Neutrality empowers the wounded to take control of their response and stops negative energy from escalating. It makes space for healing to occur.

I want to talk about what I believe is the highest step – blessing.  Blessing is a response at another level entirely that moves us powerfully into the realm of Spirit.  Whether we know it or not, in choosing to bless, we align ourselves with the power of our Creator. Blessing moves us from Victim to Powerful Co-Creator with the Divine.  In blessing we unleash that transformative power into the entire situation, past, present and future.  We release healing, balancing, restorative energy for our own hurt and into the matrix of circumstances that have caused it.

Our blessing connects us with Spirit
  1. For ourselves it connects us to Source, reminding us of who we are so that we can heal from injury and move on as the whole and joy filled Spiritual Beings we truly are.

  2. For the other person our blessing also strengthens their connection with Source. The power of blessing will support and guide them towards Truth and Peace in their own time and their own way.  Choosing to bless in these circumstances is of course very closely related to forgiveness and I will talk about that some other time.

So how do we bless? And most especially how do we bless when an injustice has occurred, a wrong has been done; we, or someone close to us has been injured in some way?

Here are some principles that have emerged for me as I have practiced the power of blessing in the face of hurt.

  1. Acknowledge the hurt.
    Let yourself feel it. Let yourself rage or cry for a time if needs be. Be honest about where you are at. Extend compassion to yourself first.  
    Minimising the  hurt – pretending it doesn’t really matter – is not powerful. Excusing the other person is not powerful.  The greatest spiritual power comes from the person who has the courage to name and acknowledge a wound, feel it, face it, and move beyond it.
  1. Pray for help to rise above your hurt.  Depending upon the severity of the situation, most of us find it hard or nearly impossible to bless when we or others are injured. Choosing to bless is a spiritual action – call upon spiritual help.
  2. Make a decision and act on it. Don’t wait for your feelings to get there – they almost certainly won’t lead you. However they will follow if you act consistently on your decision to let go and to bless.  Act on your decision straight away. Right now while you are thinking about it. Waiting will make it harder again. Say your words of blessing right then.
  3. Repeat words of blessing until you come to peace.  Although you may have a strong sense of release and peace straight away, be prepared to persevere. Depending on what has happened, and how used you are to activating blessing, it may take a few days or even weeks of consistent effort on your part to receive the breakthrough you are looking for. 

    Whenever you think of the situation repeat some words of simple blessing such as I bless you and release you to your Highest Good.  Saying them out loud adds extra power and trains your unconscious mind to come from a blessing viewpoint. Over time you will need to do this less often, and will notice that it has become automatic whenever the person/situation comes to mind.
  4. If necessary go through steps 1 – 4 again. Even when you choose to bless, deep hurt may resurface from time to time. That is normal. Go back to Step One and start over. You are working deeper each time. Persevere as long as is necessary.
  5. If it helps you, use visualisation or pictures to support your words. You may like to imagine the person/situation filled with Light, or draw a picture with an angel present – allow your creativity free reign to find the way that most suits you to extend your blessing.

    There is a guided visualisation process from one of my Meditation Radio Broadcasts available at this link

  1. Let go of the outcome.
    Decide that you are choosing to bless for its own sake. As a way to live in harmony with your Highest Good. You will undoubtedly reap the benefits. So will those you choose to bless – even if you never see it in this lifetime. Trust the whole situation into Divine Hands – and go on joyfully about your life.

I value your wisdom and your feedback.  I would love to hear from other language speakers what insights you may have about the meaning of Kindness in your language.  And if you have any questions or would like help with any part of this process please contact me via my website May you be filled with the Grace and Joy of your True Nature as you reach out in strength and compassion to bless the world around you.


© 2011 Jasmine Sampson

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