I remember when my sons were little and I was struggling with the chronic exhaustion of ‘three-under-five’, hearing older women say ‘they never stop being your babies you know. You worry about them just as much when they are thirty as you do when they are three!’
At that point in time thirty was a million light years away, and the
of an unbroken night’s sleep on some other planet. These were words I did not want to hear. Getting them to adulthood in one piece was plenty to cope with just then – and I looked forward to the day when I could heave a sigh of relief and hand the responsibility of their lives over to them. El Dorado
Now that my grandson is two and my sons in their twenties and thirties, I remember those women and understand their words in ways that were impossible to me back then.
Indeed they still my children and my concern for their wellbeing as strong as it ever was. But is worry the only way to express that? I am pleased to say it isn’t!
I have come to realise that worry and anxiety are habits of thought – and that my mind can be trained into far more useful ways of thinking about my children and everyone else that I care about.
Not only does worry feel so awful, it does no good at all, neither for the worrier, nor for the worried about. I remember feeling distinctly irritated by my mother’s needless anxiety about my welfare when I was young. You probably do too!.
As I have come to understand more and more about the way the Universe works I have come to realise that persistent thoughts and strongly held emotions ultimately manifest into physical reality. Focusing and fretting on what can go wrong in a situation may actually help to bring it about.
(I hasten to add at this point that fretting is not the same as looking for potential pitfalls and planning how to avoid them, or deal with them should they arise. It is trite but true that what we focus on will increase. Worry focuses on the problem. Planning and strategising focuses on the solution.)
The truth of all this was underlined for me a few years ago in a little book called Thought Forms by Annie Besant and Charles Leadbeater. Published in the early years of last century it is something of a spiritual classic in the library of the Theosophical Society, and I was delighted to discover it online at
Annie and Charles were spiritual explorers in the fields of New Thought and had the ability to see the energy shapes created by thoughts and feelings. They described these images to artist friends who reproduced them and the booklet has both words and pictures of the energetic effect of different emotions, from anger and jealousy through to love and devotion. There are also sections on different people’s reactions to the same event and on music. It is well worth a read by anyone interested in understanding the metaphysical realities around us and the creative power of our inner life.
One of the interesting things illustrated in this booklet is the effect of focused use of an emotions
Whereas a general feeling of affection looks like this, that general feeling can be turned into something more powerful by focused intention as illustrated here.
And when that intention is turned into a blessing of peace and protection this is the result.
So now when I think of my loved ones I think of them filled with light and peace. I see them accompanied by guides and helpers – both human and spiritual, and I think of this picture.
It comforts my heart –and gives my mind something to do other than worry! Much more productive.
I have made the focus of this week’s Meditation Radio broadcast Blessing Our Loved Ones – you can listen live or to the archived podcast at